There are plenty of reasons women put off booking a boudoir session. Maybe they want to lose weight first. Maybe they think they’re too old. Maybe the idea has been sitting in the back of their mind for years, but actually getting in front of the camera feels like an entirely different story.
For Cheryl, it was a little bit of all of those things.
At 56, Cheryl had never done a boudoir session before. She found me on Facebook without knowing me personally and saw an application for a session. Boudoir was something she had thought about before, so she decided there wasn’t much harm in filling it out.
“Why not? What’s gonna hurt to fill it out? I can always say no in the end.”
And then I called her.
Going From “I Can Always Say No” to Actually Booking the Session
Cheryl remembers being surprised when she heard from me—and definitely nervous. When you’re considering something as personal as boudoir, filling out a form from the comfort of your own home is one thing. Talking to the photographer and realizing you might actually go through with it makes everything suddenly feel a lot more real.
But our first conversations also helped Cheryl feel comfortable enough to keep going. We hadn’t met in person yet, and initially we were simply talking on the phone. There wasn’t one huge moment where all of her nerves disappeared. Instead, each step gave her a little more information and a little more confidence about what she was signing up for.
After our Zoom consultation, where we could actually see each other and talk more about the experience, she felt even more comfortable. That didn’t mean she stopped being nervous altogether. In fact, Cheryl said she was nervous right up until the day of her photoshoot.
That’s a part of the boudoir experience I think is important to talk about. You don’t have to reach some magical level of confidence before you’re allowed to book a session. For a lot of women, the confidence comes from going through the experience—not before it.
What Happens When the Session Actually Starts?
When Cheryl arrived, we began with professional hair and makeup. She described coming in without makeup, her hair undone, and getting to sit back while someone else took care of everything.
“It felt nice being pampered and getting all dolled up and camera ready.”
Then came the photography.
Boudoir posing can feel strange when you’ve never done it before. What looks beautiful in a finished photograph doesn’t necessarily feel glamorous while you’re actually doing it. There were moments when I was directing Cheryl and she remembers thinking, How is this going to work? What is this going to look like?
That’s why you don’t need to arrive knowing how to pose. I guide my clients throughout their session, from positioning their bodies down to the smaller details and expressions. Cheryl didn’t have to figure out what looked good from her side of the camera.
And once she started seeing some of the images on the back of my camera, her perspective began to change.
She described the session itself as almost empowering: “It’s like, wow, this is really me.”
“Maybe I Should Lose More First”
Before her session, Cheryl had another thought that will probably sound familiar to a lot of women.
She had already been losing weight since the beginning of the year, but part of her wondered whether she should wait and lose more before having boudoir photos taken.
“Well, maybe I should lose more.”
But then she reconsidered. This was her body now, in the middle of her own journey, and she didn’t need to reach a particular number before she was worthy of being photographed.
Cheryl also pointed out that whether you’re doing a boudoir session entirely for yourself or creating something for a partner, waiting for your body to become some future version of itself can keep you from experiencing something you want to do now.
“If you’re doing it for a significant other, they love you for who you are. So I don’t think size matters.”
Cheryl considers herself a bigger woman, and that didn’t change what she thought when she saw her finished photographs.
“The pictures are just amazing.”
Is 56 Too Old for Boudoir?
Weight wasn’t the only thing Cheryl had wondered about. At 56, she also felt like she might be older than the type of woman she pictured having a boudoir session.
But there really isn’t an age category for this.
Boudoir isn’t reserved for women in their 20s and 30s, just as it isn’t reserved for a particular dress size or body type. Cheryl came into her session at 56, nervous, doing something she’d never done before, and walked away having proven her own assumptions wrong.
Sometimes we create a picture in our heads of who gets to do certain things. Who wears the lingerie. Who gets photographed. Who gets to feel sexy. Who belongs in the images we’ve seen.
And sometimes the best way to challenge that picture is to put yourself in it.
Seeing Herself in Print
After the session, Cheryl had already seen her photographs digitally, but seeing the finished images in her album was different.
“I still don’t know who that girl is,” she joked while looking through them.
There is something about holding a photograph that a phone screen doesn’t replicate. Cheryl had seen her images on a computer, phone and iPad, but once she could physically hold the finished photographs, the experience changed.
“Seeing them and actually being able to hold them and touch them is a completely different feeling than seeing them on a screen.”
And in Cheryl’s case, that album had a destination.
The Anniversary Gift Her Husband Has No Clue About
Although Cheryl wanted to have the boudoir experience for herself, her album is also an anniversary gift for her husband.
And at the time we filmed her interview?
He had absolutely no idea.
“I’ve been sneaking around for months, and he has no clue.”
So after months of secretly planning, photographing and creating the album, Cheryl left the studio with the finished surprise in her hands. We’ll leave the husband’s reaction to the imagination.
Was It Worth Getting Past the Fear?
When Cheryl looked back at the whole experience, she acknowledged that the hardest part was the fear at the beginning. The nerves before booking, wondering what the session would be like, questioning how the poses could possibly look good and wondering whether she should lose more weight first were all much bigger before she actually experienced it.
Her verdict afterward was simple:
“Totally worth it.”
She described the entire experience as wonderful—and that’s coming from someone who started this whole thing by clicking a Facebook application and reminding herself that she could always say no.
She could have.
Instead, at 56, Cheryl said yes to her first boudoir session.
And she didn’t need to lose another 20 pounds, become younger, know how to pose or stop being nervous first. She just needed to decide that the woman she was right then was worth photographing.
